Self-Refection Leads To Self-Improvement

March 17, 2013 § 2 Comments

All great leaders look for continuous improvements.  Improvements in their business, their staff and most of all in themselves.

Have you ever experienced your child doing something that is irritating?  Did you ever notice that irritating act and then realize they copied it from you?  I have realized this too many times.

One thing that separates good leaders from great leaders is the ability of self-relfection.

self reflection leads to self improvement pic 03 17 13Too many people go around clueless to how  they are treating people or communicating with people.  If you dont realize what you are doing or saying, how can you make improvements?

Some people surround themselves with others that will be brutally honest and tell them.  But most leaders must learn to be self-relfective.  There are 5 steps to go through in order to self-reflect.

  1. Listen to what you are saying.  It is simple to turn into the Incredible Hulk, lose control and say things you dont mean to say.  Choose your words carefully.
  2. Listen to how you are saying things.  You can use the same words and they can be heard in many different ways. It’s All About The Delivery!
  3. Pay attention to the reactions of others.  Was it what you intended or were you surprised?  Obviously, being surprised should be a flag to you and moving to Step 4 with it is critical for making improvements.
  4. Relfect on your interactions with people and decide if you could or should have handled it differently.  This is the 2nd most important step of self reflection.
  5. Decide to handle similar situations differently the next time

How do you self-reflect?

Keep your eyes open. Inspiration can come from anywhere.

This post was inspired by my own continuous desire for improvement.  I often coach others  about self-awareness and it starts with self-reflection

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Get Out Your Pen, Pencil or Crayon!

January 6, 2013 § 1 Comment

Many years ago my high school health class teacher would announce “get out your pen, pencil or crayon” when he was giving us a surprise quiz.  If he is still teaching today, he would likely tell everyone “get out your laptop, tablet or mobile device”.

I read an article recently in the Wall Street Journal titled The Lost Art of the Handwritten Note.  It mentions a British survey which states 1 in 3 people did not write a single thing by hand in the past 6 months.  I am shocked and not surprised at the same time. Is that possible?  This clearly illustrates how our society has gone nearly entirely electronic.  And I am no different.  I scan any document I need to save.  I use my iPhone & iPad to access files, take notes, and send messages.

Hand written notes have gone by the wayside.  As the WSJ indicates, it is truly a lost art and is nearly extinct.  For those that have received them, it is something very meaningful.  The sender took extra effort to write & send you a note.

This past holiday season, I decided to expand my professional holiday card list.  I also decided to write a note in each one of them.  It was not an easy task, but it felt better than simply signing my name or worse, just stuffing them in the envelope unsigned.

In our fast-paced world, if you want to be noticed in 2013, write a personal, hand-written note.  It will set you apart from everyone who only send emails & text messages.

Keep your eyes open. Inspiration can come from anywhere.

This post was inspired by years of guidance from Mick Parrott regarding the value of writing a note to people.  Thank you, Mick.  Once again you are right on the money.

Start with the Big Stuff

October 6, 2012 § Leave a comment

Teacher fills a container with large rocks and asks the class if they think the container is full.  The class says “yes, its full”.  Teacher starts adding smaller rocks by shaking the container until no more small rocks fit. He then asks the students again if the container is full.  Again the class answers in the affirmative.  One more time, the teacher proves them wrong by adding sand to the container.

When I think about this story I think about the container being my time. Too often I fill my time with small stuff (sand) like TV.  Then I wonder why I don’t have time to read or write a blog post.  I made this sculpture (I guess I can call it a sculpture, right?) and put it on my desk at work to remind me that I need to add the big things first before I add the sand.

How about you?  Do you start with sand or with rocks?

Keep your eyes open. Inspiration can come from anywhere.

This post was inspired by Sensei Krebs who was the first person to tell me this story. He also continuously encourages all of us to start with the big stuff.

What Have YOU Learned from the Incredible Hulk?

July 14, 2012 § 2 Comments

I watched The Avengers with my son. After the movie we talked about different scenes on the drive home. (ATTENTION: Spoiler Alert!) The scene that caused the most curiousity was toward the end where the Avengers were fighting the alien army of flying Goblin-link machines and their flying giant eel-like machine companions. A giant eel was flying down the streets of New York directly at the Avenger team when Dr Bruce Banner started running directly toward it. Captain American called out, “Dr Banner, now might be a really good time for you to get angry.” Dr Banner turned around and said, “that is my secrect. I am always angry!” and he immediately turned into the Hulk and kicked the giant eel machine’s mechanical ass! Great movie!

My son and I wondered how Dr Banner was unable to control turning into the Hulk when he got mad and then when was not mad, he could Hulk-up on command. After we talked about this phenominon, we realized the same thing happens too often to people every day.

How often have you known people in business to lose control when something upsets them? Or send a scathing email without thinking of the fall-out? Too often I must say. It is OK to be forceful, firm, or even yell. The key with communicating this way is doing it because you intend to, not because you lost control and you had no choice.

The Incredible Hulk is my new favorite hero.  So, which one describes you? Are you another Incredible Hulk or are you unable to control your emotional reactions?

Keep your eyes open. Inspiration can come from anywhere.

This post was inspired by a The Avengers movie. 

Out With The Old & In With The New…Perspective

June 24, 2012 § Leave a comment

As a Cubs fan, we get attached to veteran players. In fact, that could be said about most baseball fans. This year is no different for me. I was very disappointed to see Marlon Byrd get traded. I love his work ethic, hustle and obvious love for the game. The chatter on the Internet is the Cubs are waiting to call up the center field phenom, Brett Jackson, from the Iowa Cubs. In the meantime, Tony Campana has been given a great opportunity to prove himself. While Tony is not Marlon, he has done a great job bringing a different approach and different style to Center Field.

In business, it is always difficult to lose a great employee. But instead of focusing on the loss, think of it as an opportunity to hire a great new addition to the team.

Anytime a great person is hired, they bring an advantage that no other person on the team can bring: a new perspective. Don’t squander the opportunity. Take advantage of it. Once a new person gets acclimated to the company, I always encourage the manager to ask the person, “what do you see that you would change or that doesn’t make sense”. Their fresh perspective and new set of eyes is invaluable.

Are there any success stories where this new perspective has had an impact on your organization?

Keep your eyes open. Inspiration can come from anywhere.

This post was inspired by a couple of articles in Vine Line magazine. 

Miss Impatient or The Amazing Race Contestant?

December 20, 2011 § 2 Comments

While my kids were on Fall Break in October, we went to Turkey Run State Park outside of Indianapolis, Indiana. By the way, what is the purpose of fall break? I suppose that rant is for another post.

Turkey Run State Park is an amazing park to hike. I never thought Indiana had such rugged and picturesque areas anywhere. A few trails could have been used to film the scene from Jurassic Park II where the “research” team first gets to the Site B island, Isla Sorna, and they are looking for another research scientist in the plush, jungle-like ravine when a herd of stegosaurs come walking through. Turkey Run is exactly like that, well except for the stegosaurs.

We were walking along one of these streams when the bank on one side became impassable. We were approaching people coming from the other direction so we stopped and waited for them pass. At this time, a woman and her daughter (probably around 8-10 years old) came up behind us and barged her way through making everyone wait. While this was irritating, I was glad they were in front of us and not behind us.

The stream and the trail ended at a waterfall. In order to continue, ladders had to be climbed up the side of the ravine to get to the top. Miss Impatient was waiting at the base of the ladder because there were 10-15 people coming down the ladder. I could see she was getting anxious and antsy. She kept whispering something to her daughter. As a steady stream of people kept coming down the ladder, her daughter started up the ladder (at the direction of Miss Impatient I am sure). People on the ladder were startled to see someone come up when they were already on their way down. My wife and I mentioned this was unsafe with no response. Others on the ladder also commented on it as unsafe, but the daughter of Miss Impatient continued to climb. Finally, she got what she wanted. The people at the top stopped and let the daughter and Miss Impatient up the ladder. The only thing that made sense was she was on a Speed Bump leg of the Amazing Race and needed to get through quickly to catch up with everyone else. Or maybe she was rude and impatient. I am not sure which scenario is more likely.

Beyond being rude, Miss Impatient also seemed to be missing everything around her. The scenery was amazing. The opportunities to talk to her daughter about the natural world around her – the water erosion, rock formations, the history of time gone by and the hollowed out trees where the chipmunks lived – were unlimited.

There are many times where we are trying to hurry through our professional lives, whether it is a large project or small assignment. Problems and errors are inevitable to arise and when we are “barging through” to get to the end, it is very difficult to see the answers to those problems and to pick out the errors in the first place.

As leaders in business, we always need to slow down a bit. When problems arise, many leaders react by trying to solve the problem right away. Instead, it is more important for leaders to ask questions of the people working on the problem.  As a leader, you will likely not always know the answer, but you should always know the questions to ask that helps to figure out the answers.

This approach may take more time. It may even be frustrating for the people hurrying through their projects, but in the end, instead of only learning the answer, the person may also learn a way to figure out a similar problem the next time.

Giving the answer and getting to the finish line quickly works well for a short-term benefit. But by slowing down the process, helping people figure out the answers to their own problems, while it is certainly more time-consuming, the long-term benefits are tremendous.  Not to mention it is much more enjoyable to witness. Enjoyable like slow leisure hike through Turkey Run State Park.

Keep your eyes open. Inspiration can come from anywhere.

I was encouraged to write this blog by my wife. I was inspired to write this blog by Miss Impatient. I do hope she slows down to enjoy life…or wins the million dollars.

I’ve Fallen and I CAN Get Up – Part 2

October 26, 2011 § 2 Comments

In our current political environment, I could easily write about the candidates that are falling. But I don’t think I want to go there right now.

About a month ago, I published Part 1 of this series. It was inspired by a Sanchin Ryu karate workout where we learned to fall. Falling is something that will likely happen if someone is attacked and forced to defend themselves. Since it is inevitable, we wanted to learn how to properly fall so we could make getting back up as quickly and easily as possible. But what if you cannot immediately get back up? What if you are surrounded by “bad guys”? You are on your stomach or your back. All of the “dark temple” stuff may not be effective. In our Sanchin Ryu class this week, we worked on going back to the basics in order to defend ourselves while we are on the ground. These simple, but devastating punches, elbows and kicks provide us with a plan to defend ourselves while on the ground.

Many times in our professional lives we fall and Part 1 of this series describes what we can do to lessen the blow. But what happens when we are on the ground from the fall? Many of us have been there. The stress is ultra high and we are at a low point. You don’t know how to deal with it. I can tell you from experience there is only one thing you should NOT do…that is nothing. Doing nothing never makes your situation better, whether you are in an altercation and forced to defend yourself or you are at your maximum stress level. And staying stressed out is not good either. When we fall, we must do SOMETHING to get ourselves back up on our feet.

I spoke with four separate people over the past week that have been stressed due to various reasons. With each, I encouraged them in different ways and always came to the same approach – go back to the basics. In one case, we talked in detail about the frustration. I asked him to identify the root cause of the frustration. After identifying it and talking through it, he now has a plan to deal with the root causes. His stress level almost immediately went down after developing his plan to deal with the issue and he was able to start picking himself up off the ground.

In another case I was talking to someone about the large personal debt load they had. It was lurking over their head and causing a lot of stress because it was a large number and they did not know what to do first. We talked about going back to the basics. I asked, what is the worst thing that could happen in this situation. The answer was they would have to sell some of their possessions to pay off the loan. Now they had a plan for the worst possible scenario. Anything else that happens will be easier to deal with. Immediately they felt better and were able start getting off the ground.

A plan leading to a solution is such an important step, it cannot be overemphasized. Once the plan is in place, you will immediately begin your assent to a better place.

Keep your eyes open. Inspiration can come from anywhere.

This post was inspired by Sensei Scott.

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